Right now, I'm stopping to think about the word "ass." As I do so, I picture a perfectly round ass just floating in front of a blank backdrop. And then I say the word inside my head...
Ass.
But I don't just say the word. I think about precisely what it means, and then I say it again, slowly.
Ass.
At this point, I'm trying my best not to laugh, and I fail.
I got injured in my walking class today. I'd finish this story, but there's no way that I can dignify any supplemental remarks. Not a chance.
My roommate, Joey, found a picture of the man who ran a mile in four minutes, thus breaking the speed barrier. Joey found a picture of a penis, and superimposed it onto the man's pelvic region in Microsoft Paint. He then took a picture of a butt and used it to cover the face of a man in the crowd. The best part is that the picture isn't even finished yet.
Some pervert stole the seat off my bike. The worst part is that I can't even find a replacement seat. The worst part is that I'm tempted to steal the seat off another bike on campus, thus perpetuating this chain letter of petty theft and homo-erotica. After all, the bike seat is one of the most phalic objects known to men.
I'm sure there's more, but you haven't earned it. I recommend that you send me money. Fuck the Katrina victims--they have Kanye West.
~Buck Jaked
Thursday, October 06, 2005
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2 comments:
Hey Jakey, it's Abby.
I finished your birthday present, but I'm afraid if I mailed it, it would get ruined. So I'll give it to you next time I see you.
If you want to see it, I posted it here: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/24043886/
or you can just neglect that web address and be surprised. Up to you.
love,
Abby
Ok Jake... time for a new blog entry. I'm just saying it's been hella long since your last one. Tell us about something funny... like the mutated hamsters that may or may not live in my bathroom.
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